Self Care vs Self Discipline

In recent years, self care has become a major trend. Face masks, having a glass of wine, bubble baths, anything that brings you joy seems to be considered self care.

I found this definition of self care: any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Self discipline, however, is the ability to do what you should be doing, and often means putting off immediate comfort in favor of long term success.

So, how can you practice self discipline while also practicing self care? Are these two practices at odds with each other?

I woke up yesterday after a long weekend of hanging out with friends, drinking, being out in the sun. I was exhausted but also felt so many other emotions — I was guilty for not doing anything “productive” in four days, I felt bloated from eating and drinking too much and also had a bit of an emotional hangover.

My normal day in the pandemic involves a barre workout, a walk and several times a week I throw a bike ride in there. I also make myself a nice lunch, do two crosswords, job search and, recently, do some writing. I try very hard to make sure that my days are spent productively rather than just binging Netflix shows.

Yesterday, I knew I couldn’t get everything done that I usually do. I was too drained. So I tried to figure out how I could still take care of myself (practice self care) while also getting something done that would benefit me (self discipline). I opted not to do a workout yesterday — I only left my apartment to get groceries. But I spent a great deal of time writing, caught up on my crosswords, and reviewed some content for job searching.

It certainly wasn’t a normal day for me but I took the time I needed to rest my body, while still making sure I ticked some of my boxes.

In order to make sure you are not indulging too much in self care and ignoring self discipline, I recommend a few practicing a few self checks.

1. Ask yourself how you are truly feeling. Are you tired, sad, grumpy? If you are tired, maybe don’t do a HIIT workout and choose something lower paced or take a rest day. If you’re sad, often working out makes you feel better. Try to identify the emotion you’re feeling and then treat that emotion appropriately. Journaling first thing in the morning often helps to pinpoint your emotions.

2. Think about how you want to feel in an hour and what activity will help you get there. If you feel sad but truly hope to feel better soon, diving into a bag of chips probably won’t make you feel better in an hour. Maybe a bubble bath or reading something inspirational. Think about the consequences of your action before you dive into something you could misrepresent as “self care”.

3. Make a list of things that are critical to get done that day and make sure you find try to do those. Yesterday, I knew I needed to get new spice containers but also knew we were cooking last night so if I got the spice containers today it would be totally fine. So I didn’t pressure myself to make that extra trip. However, we definitely needed groceries so I forced myself to do that errand. Don’t ignore critical tasks even if you are feeling down. You will feel better once they are done.

What do you do when you’re feeling too drained to practice self discipline? How do you make sure you’re not masquerading self indulging as self care? Please share your thoughts or practices with me!

Originally published at https://www.contena.co on August 13, 2020.